take it outside

"ONE SHOULD ONLY QUESTION GODS WHERE NONE BUT GODS CAN REPLY." FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

I'm in Alberta again, this time to stay for awhile. My boyfriend is being a turkey though, so if he dumps me, against my attempts to convince him otherwise, I may very well scrounge up some cash and go back to BC in a couple of months. I'm not being cavalier about it, I just don't have anyone to talk to, so thanks for being here for me. I'm pretty depressed and upset about a couple of things, getting hosed on the farm, trying out this fabulous new life in Alberta, men who refuse to want healthy relationships. Some of these things I have to suck up and accept that this is the way the cookies crumbled. But a current relationship, ah, this takes 2 to obliterate. it's really hard not to think that it all my fault and that i should have never even tried to be in a relationship after the epic tanking of my last one. It just seems to be such a shame to let misdirected emotion detstroy what has a chance to be really good. But I don't like bullshit. I do recognize that I've done many things because i've chosen to, and often these are poor choices, but I'm only human and doing the best I can. I'm trying to simpify my life, get things sorted out, but I refuse to believe that I have to be alone in order to achieve these things.

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