take it outside


Wednesday, August 22, 2007

I'm in Alberta again, this time to stay for awhile. My boyfriend is being a turkey though, so if he dumps me, against my attempts to convince him otherwise, I may very well scrounge up some cash and go back to BC in a couple of months. I'm not being cavalier about it, I just don't have anyone to talk to, so thanks for being here for me. I'm pretty depressed and upset about a couple of things, getting hosed on the farm, trying out this fabulous new life in Alberta, men who refuse to want healthy relationships. Some of these things I have to suck up and accept that this is the way the cookies crumbled. But a current relationship, ah, this takes 2 to obliterate. it's really hard not to think that it all my fault and that i should have never even tried to be in a relationship after the epic tanking of my last one. It just seems to be such a shame to let misdirected emotion detstroy what has a chance to be really good. But I don't like bullshit. I do recognize that I've done many things because i've chosen to, and often these are poor choices, but I'm only human and doing the best I can. I'm trying to simpify my life, get things sorted out, but I refuse to believe that I have to be alone in order to achieve these things.